Destination Chamonix

What started out as a pipe dream, morphed into a conversation at Geneva airport, and turned into an excited email this morning.

My application for running in the 2015 TDS was confirmed this morning.
I'm scared.
This will be the furthest that I've ever run (119km), even with the other races that I'm running beforehand.
This will be the most climbing I've ever done (7,250m).
This will be, by far, the toughest thing I've ever done.

My immediate thoughts are that I'm not fast enough to beat the cutoffs. Why was I stupid enough to apply for the TDS and not the CCC?
I'm not strong enough to do all of the vert.
I'll be going alone, I'm not strong enough mentally to do it.
I've told everyone that I'm doing it, and I'll fail spectacularly in front of all of them when I DNF.

I may be many things. But one thing I definitely am is stubborn. I'm going to train like I've never trained before. I'll run further, faster, longer and higher than I've done before.
I'm going to do this.

Last year, when Kirsty made me run back to Chamonix from Le Buet, I picked up a UTMB course marker. Kirsty asked if I was going to keep it and use it as inspiration... that tiny red and white flag is in my hallway, it catches my eye every time I walk into my flat.
Inspiration? Hell yeah!

But apart from any of this; I already knew I was in so I booked my flights and apartment at the weekend...

What a difference a day makes

Time to pack the bags for my Christmas holiday, but first there was skiing to be had...
Scott and I headed up to Glenshee for a quick night ski to celebrate the winter solstice.

It was great to be out in the hills, my first real chance since recovering from the Dorset ultra.

Somewhere along the way I lost my car key though... Scott was driving, so at least we could get back to his (where my car was).
The problem was that my flat keys were in the car. And my suitcase and passport were in my flat. And it was already 1am. And I had to leave for the airport at 9am.
Thanks to Scott and Ryan, I managed to get into my flat and recover my car; safely tucked up in bed by 03:30, ready for the 07:00 alarm call!

So, after that just 23 short hours on 3 planes, and I was in Australia. Ready for some sun, sea, running, biking and general relaxing with Dave, Lara and Ellis.

So, what a difference a day makes...

CTS Dorset Ultra

This race came about for me on the back of a conversation with Kirsty at Geneva airport on the way home from experiencing the UTMB in Chamonix this year.

The conversation can be summarised as her telling me I could get sufficient qualifying points before the end of the year for a CCC or TDS entry; bear in mind that it was early September and, at that point, I’d never run more than 20 miles in one go.

So, I did the Lakes in a Day (50 miles through the Lake District) in October. Which got me 2 points.

And exactly 8 weeks later, I was stood on the start line for the CTS Dorset Ultra. 45 gruelling miles along Dorset’s “Jurassic” coast, which would get me another 2 points (assuming I finish it…).

Dorset’s a long way from Aberdeen. About 11 ½  hours on the train each way, to be exact!

I’d never been to Dorset before, so it was the ideal opportunity to get the points and to do/see something new (whilst getting a good run in too!).

0730 and there were nearly 200 of us huddled together in the December sun for the pre-race brief. And what a brief it was!... it went on so long that everyone was shivering in the frosty morning by the end and I, for one at least, was relishing the steep climb from the start line to get some heat in my body. I was soon going to regret those thoughts though!

Eventually, we were off up that steep rise. Then down just as severely as we went up. Then up and down 3 more times, and that was before we’d even covered 5km!

The ultra course was a series of loops passing through the event village each time. We first headed West from Lulworth, back to Lulworth, then a loop to the East, then the first loop again, then a shorter (10km) loop to the West to finish. 

So we ended up doing those first vicious climbs 3 times! We didn’t go above 190m all day, yet my GPS recorded over 3,100m of climbing during the course. It was brutal and relentless all together!

Here's my Strava record of the run if anyone's interested.

And here's the second hill:

The loops were the hardest part of the race. I started to hit a really low point around 40km in; as I passed through Lulworth (and the event centre) a few shouts of encouragement from spectators (mostly along the lines of “he’s doing the ultra, he must be nuts, keep going!”) lifted my spirits enough to head back out.

I then hit another real low at around the 50km mark, with the pain starting to get on top of me, and I ended up walking for quite a while.

A doctor, Peter, who noticed I was limping as he caught up, saved me; we ended up chatting and pacing each other nearly to the finish. I felt a little bad that I’d perked up sufficiently to drop him on the last climbs of the day; and my own shadow from his superbright headtorch behind me spurring me on to a fast finish. I must search him out via Google and drop him a line to say thanks.

In the run up to the race, I was a little bit concerned over the communication (or lack of) from the organisers. I shouldn’t have had any concerns; and on the back of this race I’d recommend an Endurance Life event to anyone.

There were 4 race distances (10k, half mara, full mara and ultra) all happening on the same course at the same time, and everything was really well organised and went smoothly.

Just after the half and ultra courses merged, someone asked me how far we’d gone. The look on her face when I said 35km done with 35 to go (she was “only” doing the half) was priceless!

We were treated to some amazing weather, with bright sunshine and clear blue skies, followed by a finish under a full moon bright enough to almost negate the need for headtorches.

My official finish time was 10hours04mins, leaving me 57^th from 110 finishers (with around 55 DNFs). Pretty happy with that, but it would’ve been nice to slip under the 10 hour mark.

I learnt a lot from this, which I’ll take forward to my races planned next year; and that will hopefully include one of the races in the UTMB week. But they're the usual lessons that I'm sure most ultra runners learn: don't start too quick (I did), eat regularly (I didn't), etc.

So, as I sit here typing this, I’m sore, really sore. The bursitis in my heel that plagued me in the run up to this race is even worse, but I’m still riding the wave of the high from finishing.
I've got my 4 UTMB points, and now just need to decide which race to put an entry in for next year.

I’ll enjoy the euphoria while it lasts, and prepare myself for the lows that are likely to follow. Hopefully I can get back to running before too long, and then there’s Australia in 2 weeks to look forward to.

More hills!

Beautiful scenery

Musings on Marcothon 2014

I don't know the history behind it, but there's a thing called the Marcothon.
All you need to do is run 5km/3miles/25mins every day in December. Why that far, and why December, I have no idea. That's just what it is.
Anyway, I'm doing it. Being the competitive soul that I am, it didn't take much coercing to get me signed up.

It's day 2, and so far so good. I've run both days from work at lunchtime; 5.6km and 6.5km.
If anything, it makes a great distraction from the dark and gloomy days (both inside and out), so I'm glad I'm doing it.

What I didn't fully appreciate is that during December I need to fit in:

• Life in general
• A 70km ultra marathon (no problem getting the 5kms in that day!)
• 12 hours each way travelling to and from the ultra on the train
• 22 hours of flying to Australia for Christmas.

So, looks like I'm going to have to be a little creative with how and where I fit my runs in...

there's also the small matter of recovering from the ultra; the last one took me over a month to get over.

I'll have to get my thinking cap on.

2014... the Story so Far

So, I started 2014 having never run more than a couple of half marathons, having only taken up running as something to do when I wasn't out on my bike.
I approached 2014 much the same as I approach any year. I'll ride my bike a bit, maybe enter a few races, and see what happens.

By the end of the year, I will have (or already have):

• Biked much less than usual (but still managed a trip to the Alps)
• Made running my main sporting focus
• Run my first marathon
• Run my first ultra marathon
• Have run over 1,000km with 25,000m of climbing
• (Hopefully) have enough UTMB points for either the CCC or the TDS next year
• Have a sporting master plan for 2015

2015 planning has already started with 3 races already entered, and another 2 or 3 potentials identified. I'm definitely looking forward to, and excited by, all of the running that I'll have to do in training for those.

There's a few adventures in the pipeline too, and I'll be working hard to make sure at least some of them happen.

But before all of that, I need to rest and recover in time for next weekend's CTS Dorset ultra; 45 easy miles... along Dorset's Jurassic coast. That'll be the final UTMB points I need for next year's entry.

Since the Lakes in a Day ultra, I haven't run nearly as much as I'd have liked to due to both injury and various life events getting in the way. I'm feeling fairly confident though, over the worst of any injuries; and at the end of the day, all I need to do is finish.

And as long as I can still put one foot in front of the other, I'm stubborn enough to make that happen.

The reason for being (well, for the blog, anyway)

There are many things that many people don’t know about me.

Even those closest to me: my colleagues; my closest friends; my family. Even the woman that, up until recently, I was lucky enough to spend that last 7 months of my life with, someone that I felt closer to than anyone ever before. Even she didn’t know, because I wasn't strong enough to talk to her about it.

People may say, “Yeah, I know Rich.” But they don’t.

They know the guy that’s a nice guy, goes out biking and running, goes out drinking and partying, is a dad to Katy and (usually) always has a huge grin on his face.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don’t. That’s not me. Well, that’s only part of me. That’s the part that I want people to see.

The other part is a deeper, darker shade of black. And that’s someone that, up until now, only I’ve known.

I have down days, the same as everyone else does. I have very down days as well though. I have great days too.

On the very down days, I’ve locked myself in the house and refused to come out. I’ve refused to answer the phone. I’ve been drawn into my head and the negative cycle of self-destructive thoughts.

You can’t just tell me that I need to be happy in myself; exactly the same as you can’t tell the guy with a broken leg to walk it off.

I’ve spent a lot of the last few weeks trying to figure myself out. Trying to figure out why I don’t always like the person that I am.

I’ve realised recently that the blackness comes from my “mans’ best friend”: the black dog that’s always with me. Sometimes the dog is sitting on my chest barking at me that I’m not fast enough, not clever enough, not strong enough… just not good enough… the best that I can be, not good enough for you.

Sometimes, the dog’s running alongside me or just behind me on the trails, keeping me on my toes and pushing forwards.

One thing that’s for certain though, is that the dog’s always there.

I should probably give him a name…

Someone much wiser than me once said, “The deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

During exercise or my good days, I can achieve an almost euphoric state. Afterwards, or during periods of inactivity, I descend into deeper and darker caverns than I would like to think most ‘normal people’ could imagine.

So, why am I telling you all of this?

I don’t know.

It’s not a cry for help. I’m not about to do something.

I guess it’s about helping myself get through. That not every day is a good day, but there’s some good in every day.

For now, I’m going to keep running. Someone very special gave me the inspiration to run long distance.

And the longer I run, the further the dog has to chase.